This is going to be a short post- just one where I’m going to spill my thoughts.
Lately, I’ve been having a ton of positive feelings about the upcoming birth. I’m not sure if it’s my hormones trying to psych my up or what, but it’s been pleasant.
I’ve had dreams of an easy birth- like, an incredibly easy birth. One where I’m fine all the way up until the end and then there’s just determination through the crowing phase. I haven’t dreamt about the pain. I don’t think about being scared. I’m surprised! Just a few weeks ago I was terrified. I keep having thoughts about cruising through my labor! And the baby latching on seconds after he’s born.
Now, I know that these thoughts are unrealistic, but hey, I can enjoy them.
The title, by the way, doesn’t mean I’m hoping to having a orgasm during the birth, but instead just having such amazing, overpowering feelings that it feels orgasmic. I’ve read a few birth stories over the past few months of women who thoroughly enjoy their births. They post pictures of themselves smiling and laughing while laboring. I want that!
So anyway, last night, while I was up with a miserable teething toddler, I had three contractions. They were NOT Braxton Hicks. Trust me, after months of having BH’s, I know the difference. These ‘cramps’ pulled downwards and extended into my back. They didn’t just squeeze me like an anaconda. They were weak so they didn’t hurt very much at all, but the sensation of them pulling I could feel. And guess what? THEY FELT GREAT.
Why I guess they felt good instead of painful:
- They were weak
- I’m anxious and excited
- They pulled from a different direction that I’m used to, so in a way, they were stretching me
- I’m in the right state of mind
- I have always enjoyed a painful kind of pleasure…does that make sense? I’m not necessarily making a sexual reference. Think about me picking at my body- it sort of hurts, but then your body releases it’s natural sedatives, which feel good. So.
So, keep all your fingers and toes crossed people. I’d like all of my contractions to feel enjoyable. I’ve read in multiple books that if you accept the pain you can sit with it instead of (mentally) trying to run from it.
I’m ranting and this is a messy post- sorry! I’m excited.